I am a Gooey Sentimental Fool ...

I don’t often write mushy or gooey blogs – I find them less entertaining to read and they really aren’t that fun for me to write either. I save that kind of stuff for my journal and even then it’s not really my thing. It comes off sounding fake of foofy. You know what I mean … foofy. But I’m about to drop a gooey bomb on you.

In Peace Corps you have plenty of time to be pensive. More time than you would ever need or want in a lifetime. But I’ve lately been contemplating my current and past situations and have made a decision. While I have enjoyed my time here in Fiji and in Peace Corps, I sometimes feel like I could have a more improved attitude. The rollercoaster of emotions that accompanies my day are made of such severe highs that one can only accept that the corresponding lows are also severe. I don’t like that. I want an attitude adjustment, so I’ve ordered one online.

I’ve realized that I’ve lived in some pretty great places, yet it isn’t until after I’ve left those places that I truly appreciate them. I was in Chapel Hill for 4 years and spent almost 2 of those years abroad trying to not be there. I resented being in Chapel Hill because UNC was not my top choice school – so even though I enjoyed Chapel Hill and found it a pleasant place to live – in the back of my mind I had always thought that I’d be having so much more fun at Dartmouth. Then I was in Charleston and because I had moved there from Hawaii was resentful of the fact that I was no longer in paradise. But anyone who has been to Charleston knows how charming it is! I realized this in my final year and a half studying there, but again – also had a hard time realizing how lucky I was to live there because I felt held hostage by my studies that would never end.

Now I find myself in Fiji and half the time I am counting down the months until I get to leave. Although I realize now it is not that I am counting down until I leave, but more until I get to see my family and friends again. Until I get to eat some of my favorite foods again. Just to be clear: I love living here and that other half of the time that I am NOT counting down the time until I return home, I am silently freaking out about leaving – because how could I leave. It’s a scary notion to imagine not falling asleep to the sound of the real ocean – not the one made by my iPod docking station. I do appreciate how lucky I am – believe me.

But, there are plenty of times I am frustrated because I don’t feel like I am making the difference I intended to by joining the Peace Corps. I don’t like how this or that project is or is not moving forward. And sometimes I am just a little rude to the kids when they won’t give me a minute alone. I’ve just decided I want to live in the moment more. I will walk on the beach at least once a day. I will stare at the islands in the distance and realize that I will probably never again have a view like this out my window. And those cultural differences that sometimes make me want to pull my hair out, I will laugh at more … not out loud of course … that could be rude.

Now … a few more list items:
- My toilet needs its own mosquito net for those 130 am trips to the bathroom.
- Cats drool!
- My community hall project started last week! We painted 60 sheets of tin with red roofing paint … I painted 10 of those and then the men finished the roof in 4 days!
- I have 3 frisbees here and no one in the village likes to play … or knows how to throw a Frisbee at all.
- I got my first mango last week and it isn’t even the season yet. I ate it yesterday and it was AMAZING! I need more.
- I’ve grown very attached to Lily – my puppy. I didn’t want her at first because it is hard to care for a dog here, but she is adorable and I love her now.
- I’m reading Wuthering Heights for the first time.
- I accidentally peed on the floor when I jumped off the toilet last week because I thought there was a spider on my back … that is something I look forward to never doing again in America.
- My new favorite joke: What is brown and sticky? Email me if you know the answer. No cheating!

Another List Mada

As I’ve been walking around lately, I’ve been making more lists in my head. So, I guess it is time to write them down – I give you, list number blah-dee-blah. I can’t remember.
1) Today as I was walking home with my best friend Radini (the preacher’s wife – a very unlikely pairing), we stopped and I waited by the side of a dirt road while she waded thru the sea to collect seaweed for her dinner. I was just thinking how sad it’s going to be in 1 year when that will seem unusual behavior, as opposed to completely normal.
2) Radini is Fijian for “the preacher’s wife” – I don’t know her real name!
3) The seaweed she made is called lulua and is mixed with shaved coconut that has been fermenting in a plastic bag under rocks in the intertidal zone by the sea. Yeah, it tastes weird.
4) I remember when showers used to be refreshed – I dread them now.
5) I got cold today – it was maybe 70F.
6) The children in my village LOVE my stepmother.
7) My little brother Charlie made friends in my village in 1 day much easier than I have, and I’ve been here a year.
8) Seasnakes can come up on land – who knew?!
9) I think I’m growing a mullet and I don’t know how to stop it!
10) A daily part of my social ritual is to sit on Radini’s porch and eat an “ice block” – a Fijian style Popsicle frozen in a cup made from sugar, water, milk, and “flavor.”
11) In Fijian you don’t “eat an ice block” – you “drink an ice block.” You also “drink” ice cream.
12) One more year really doesn’t seem so bad … right now.
13) Every so often, when I’m doing what’s normal for me now, I think how weird normal in America is going to be next year.
14) Simba is being snuggly again.
15) I have started to bop children on the head as a sign of affection – this could cause problems back home.
16) The mosquitoes REALLY like me right now.
17) Crazy Bandz seem WAY cooler to me … a 27 year old … than they should be.
18) I am reading book number 88 right now. The reading rate has slowed with the influx of movies and tv shows circulating among the volunteers right now.
19) I make sushi with materials I buy from Suva. It’s just cucumber and carrot. But the sushi got infinitely more exciting recently with the purchase of a teeny tiny bowl for my soy sauce. It feels just like I’m in a restaurant. Minus the good sushi.
20) It was awesome seeing my dad, stepmom, and Charlie. Unfortunately now I have no American or family visits to look forward to. Just a New Years trip to the Garden Isle, potential New Zealand trip in February … wait – that doesn’t sound too bad after all.
21) Things people have come to kerekere from me this week: sugar, matches, matches again, chilies, magazines, and something else I can’t remember because I lied about not having it.
22) I miss asparagus.
23) I never bought flour before moving to Fiji.
24) I miss mango season. Only 4 more months to go.
25) It makes me nervous to live in America again.
26) I hate the bank here – long story, but basically I went to get everything I needed to open an account for the village. They said here – these forms you need to fill out and bring photo ids for all signatories on account. I did. Now there are more forms that I should have gotten the first time AND I need birth certificates for everyone, which I was told were only needed if they didn’t have photo ID. AHHHHH!!! Shoot myself in the head.
27) I know I’m about 6 years late for this, but Million Dollar Baby is a great movie!!

Stop yelling at me

This is an older video of a bridge fail near my village. It happened while I was away for my "easter vacation" and was fixed remarkably fast because of a visit from the Prime Minister, I believe.

“Juliana, where’s your blog?” “Jewels, I haven’t seen a blog in a long time.” “JULES YOU SUCK AT BLOGGING!” OK! I get it! I suck at blogging, I’m soooooo sorry. Going to try to do a big of a catch up for you and hope you don’t get bored halfway through … you better not!! I am also trying to upload some videos and photos – mostly videos because I still don’t have a working camera right now – can you believe that?!

So, to be honest, I don’t know where I left off – so let’s pick some of the more fun recent activities.

First – Mid Service Training. Yes, that means what you think it means – I’M HALFWAY THROUGH! 1 year down, 1 year to go. This is one of those things you are both happy and sad about at the same time. There are days where I am (wait for it, sappy moment) thrilled, happy, and so lucky to be here (sappy moment over) and then days where all I want in life is a hot shower, decent clothes (aka no mold, sweat stains, or holes present), and a sushi dinner (paid for by my parents). At mid service training/all volunteer conference I met the newest group of arrivals – not a bad group of fresh meat. Very nice people with brains, personality, and all the nice stuff you look for in people – they are filled with nice stuff. Asa and I got some more company out here in the Lomaiviti group of islands which is nice. I ate plenty of good food and played with my friends. It was nice.

Second – work exchange. Work exchange is Peace Corps lingo for a chance to travel around without taking vacation days. Here is the catch – you have to do work while you travel. I went up to a friend’s village on the northern island of Vanua Levu – let me tell you something about travel in this country … it sucks! Ok, it’s not that bad – but it’s a hassle for sure. I woke up at 3am Monday morning to leave my village and I arrived in Scott’s at 7pm Tuesday night – that’s longer than it took me to get from NC to Fiji. I also missed my ferry Monday morning – leaving me stranded by a dirt road in the middle of nowhere for 2 hours. Never in my life have I missed my busted up old Hyundai more than that moment. After finally getting off my island I take a 13 hour ferry to Scotts. Then a collective 6 hours on a bus. OILEI! (oilei = the Fijian version of OY VEY!) The work exchange went well though – I taught some men about what coral is, why reefs are important, what makes Fiji special, some specific risks to the reef, and different animals that live on the reef and what they do to help the system. FINALLY doing what I wanted to do here – making it worth the 2 day, $400 dollar trip there.

Third – swearing in. The new volunteers swore in to be OFFICIAL volunteers, not just trainees – what I did a year ago. I happily stayed in Suva for this and presented a poster on work I’ve done with kids. Being in Suva also gave me the chance to catch Eclipse in theaters. Go on all you haters … think of what a loser I am. Enjoying yourself? Good – now remind yourself I am in Fiji and you are in a cubicle … still enjoying yourself? Good. J J/k. Sometimes I wish I was in a cubicle.

OH! I owe a HUGE Vinaka vakalevu to everyone who donated moneys to my community hall project. It has finally been fully funded, and the money was officially deposited into my account here in Fiji. I am working on opening a bank account for my village to put the money into. I’ve met with the carpenter and the project leader – we hope to bring up the projects development at the next village meeting and then WOOSH – move things along at what I hope is faster than a snail’s pace.

Meanwhile, my parents are here! My dad, stepmom, and lil’ brother Charlie arrived this morning. They are now passed out. I have free wifi in my room and have been in front of my computer for the last 4 hours since they’ve been asleep. I’m in heaven – I have my laptop in bed with me, a cold coke next to me, some oreos, and a fan! What could be better? Don’t answer that – this feels nice. The family saw Levuka today and a nice waterfall on the other side of the island with the help of another PCV. Tomorrow we go to my village so Charlie can start snorkeling, and then we head to the fancy Fijian life at a small island resort … dad rented me a tent. Joke – real beds!

So, I am trying to upload videos and photos for you, but this is Fiji – it may not work. I’m sorry. PS: I have 1 more year here, but the mail has reaaaaally slowed down people … come on – help me make it through this second year.

PS: Here are pictures that I am trying to get loaded online finally. These are outdated by about a year!! But I am trying to catch up, so have faith. Click HERE and HERE!

Lots 'o Links

So I don't have an actual post today, but I do have some links to share. The first is the article my mother helped get written in the local paper in Washington, NC about my community hall project. The funny story is that it was found in the Fiji Sun just a few days later! How did that happen?! A volunteer friend in Fiji sent a text saying that I was in the Fiji Sun on Tuesday, mere days after the article was published in NC. Wow - now I am even MORE famous!

http://www.wdnweb.com/articles/2010/06/11/news/doc4c1170eaacfaf776201975.txt

The other link I wish to share is a guest blog posting I did for the Marine Debris program of NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) at the request of my good friend Courtney. It discusses some waste issues in Fiji. So in lieu of a real blog post here, I will send you there.

http://marinedebrisgov.blogspot.com/

You will also notice that the last posting is from my mom as a guest blog about her trip to Fiji.

A quick summary: A good friend who is a volunteer in Fiji is visiting this week to discuss money management with my village. I also threw down a waste management talk to the village as well about trash separation. This weekend we leave to go to Suva for a conference where we will meet all our fellow volunteer friends for mid-service training. We also will get the chance to meet all the new volunteers who arrived in May - the FRE8s. It will be exciting, but possibly depressing to see how enthusiastic they all are and to remember to a time gone by, when I too was that enthusiastic. I am still happy to be here, but don't see everything with fresh new eyes as they do now. After the conference, I will head to the northern island of Vanua Levu for a work exchange with a colleague - teaching his village about coral reefs and their importance. Looking forward to that. Then a mere 2 weeks later, my dad, stepmom, and lil' brother arrive for over a week!

Guest Posting from Mom

It has been a few weeks now since our visit to Fiji and I still can't believe we took the whole family halfway around the world to see Juliana on yet another adventure. We had an amazing visit with a drama and sibling rivalry free week! The biggest take-away from the trip is that Juliana has an amazing ability to nest wherever she lives. Her house is something from Swiss Family Robinson and yet it looks completely like her space. I even like this living situation a lot better than the room at NCSSM that was a converted closet!

The highlight of the trip for us was visiting the village and getting to meet the people about whom I heard so much. It was really hard not to laugh when I saw Inoke's moustache though! The lovo they prepared for us was really an honor and meeting the kids was a joy. I love the people there, but life in the villages is hard. I admire all the volunteers for making the transition and doing their best. I don't think Jules realizes how much she has contributed, but we can see it.

Rakiraki and a house on the water was fantastic. Meeting some volunteers was a treat even though we were still "parents" to them. We loved hearing their stories and seeing how well they have all connected to each other. The snorkeling was fantastic and I will never forget the neon blue starfish we saw everywhere we snorkeled.

The hardest thing for me to accept is the food availability. We all imagine this tropical place loaded with tropical fruit and veggies growing everywhere-NOT! Grocery stores are poorly stocked and only have canned or boxed goods. Sure there is frozen meat and fish, but Juliana has no refrigerator! As a local-food is not great. Restaurant food was acceptable as was the food a Wananavu, the resort next to our house. But the icing on the cake was our self-indulgent stay at The Hotel Intercontinental. That was the Fiji in the honeymoon ads with the views, infinity pools and fabulous restaurants. So we did get great food our last 2 days.

So now I am waiting for a tweet from Air Pacific telling me there is an air-fare special again and I am hopping that plane! We miss Jules terribly but we are so proud of what she is doing-if you have not gone to visit yet-which is everyone except Jason-GO!!!! You will not be sorry!

DO you want to help our community hall project? Donate HERE!

Did someone ask for a blog post?

The newest edition to the animal entourage next door.

How many kids CAN you stuff into my kitchen to make s'mores over my stovetop? Apparently 8.

Simba - you are still so cute. Thanks for keeping me company this year!

A few of the village kids posing in front of their completed fish houses.

More village kids posing just for funsies. They like to throw the peace sign like crazy here. Enjoy.

I seem to be getting progressively worse at this blogging thing. In other news – my family was here! My mom, stepdad (Dennis), brothers (Douglas and Kevin), and Emma (a beloved girlfriend of Douglas) have come and gone to Viti (Fiji). I hope they had a great time because certainly did! Highlights from the visit:

1) My first hug from Brother Doug and then of course all subsequent hugs.

2) Not all trips run flawlessly, but even a bag left behind at the airport 2.5 hours away filled with goodies does not taint the whole trip. But it still would have rather been avoided.

3) The pool really was dirty.

4) Kevin isn’t technically emo, apparently.

5) Dennis is surprisingly good at driving on the other side of the road, even with a side seat driver.

6) Mom has trouble adjusting to Fiji time.

7) Sweet and sour prawns from Raj’s Wine and Dine come with extra prawn eggs, still in shell. Emma is not a fan.

8) Douglas doesn’t need to live in Fiji to learn how to open a coconut with a machete.

9) Lots of good food including at least 3, maybe more, fish burgers with crispy fries.

10) A giant bed, warm showers, refrigerator access, swimming pools, and a toaster are all nice things to have.

11) Kevin attracts Fijian voodoo in the form of a broken laptop.

12) No one can handle the bugs.

13) The frogs are apparently more scary and entertaining than I’ve given them credit for over the past year.

14) The views really are beautiful and it’s good to be reminded of it every once in a while.

15) There is apparently some show called Jersey Shore (or something like that) that I am really missing out on.

16) Mom’s admittance that it is hot here and the food is definitely subpar.

17) The village visit mom and Dennis had was one of my favorite parts – I’m glad I got to show them my humble abode! I think mom quite enjoyed her cold shower and Dennis the spicy chili peppers at dinner.

18) Apparently now when my hair is curly I look like Douglas and when it’s straighter I look more like some new famous kid named Justin Beiber.

All in all, it was a wonderful visit and I am really glad that everyone took the time to come and see me. I really hope they enjoyed their trip, and I was able to be a decent hostess.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion … Before leaving for Rakiraki for my family visit, I was in the village getting some things accomplished!! Kind of. The kids were all on term break which meant they were in my house many many hours of the day. They played many games of go-fish and UNO. They also colored marine biology coloring pages (Thank You NOAA) and baked a lot. We also watched the show “Glee” on my computer, which I used as a sounding board to talk about sex – for the record a very uncomfortable thing for me to do with a group of 10-15 year old religious Methodists! One of them even asked about wet dreams. Yep, wet dreams. Think to yourself about explaining THAT to a group of foreign youngsters.

On the marine biology front, we built 3 fish houses!! YES! Finally, what I went to Sean’s village to learn back in NOVEMBER has finally paid off. I had to buy the bag of cement myself and figured that the time off from school would be the perfect moment to make them. We decorated them with shells and I am quite proud of the 3 kids that put them together. Perhaps they deserve a shout-out that they will never see: Paulu, Marika, and Bui – NICE WORK! Fun quiz: 2 of those names belong to girls and 1 to a boy – see if you can guess which is which. I have a 50kg bag of cement that is ¾ full still so I hope to make many more fish houses in the future.

The world map is not complete – but the drawing of it on the wall is! I know, this project is all about the kids –but I drew the map on the wall myself and am quite proud, so props to me. The grid method was a bit difficult and I wanted the map to be usable when completed, so I worked on that myself while doing lessons on different things with the kids. I’ll start those again next week with Israel – couscous, latkes, and a short Hebrew lesson will round out the hour nicely I think.

As far as what I have to look forward to in the future: a possible work exchange in my village with Kelly on money management, all volunteer conference, mid-service training, a work exchange on Vanua Levu in Scott’s village to talk about coral reefs, and a visit from Dad, Natalie, and brother Charlie!

Final fun facts for the road:

1) Giant clam shells can be used for many things: pooper scooper, decoration, soap dish, milk bowl for animals.

2) When trying to describe a man in the village to me, a cab driver proceeds to tell me he is black and that he plays rugby. Thanks – very helpful. I know EXACTLY who you mean.

3) Simba gets jealous of little kittens that are around the house.

4) I found a tiny puppy that wandered out of the bush. She is covered in fleas and ticks so I keep her outside, but I think I’m getting bitten nonetheless. But she is adorable and I named her Lily. Or shmookipoopsikins. I can’t decide. But I don’t want a dog here, so that’s a bit of a pickle. Mmmmm pickles.

5) It is HARD to find activities to entertain kids with all day every day for a week. I have more respect for camps.

6) I’ve thrown away several pairs of undies this week thanks to a new shipment from the family.

7) I bought a guitar and hope to be able to play at least 1 song by the time I leave. The guitar is red and sassy.

8) Canned asparagus in brine is very very gross. Its mush and unpleasant. Never buy it – don’t say you weren’t warned.

9) Top 5 things I want to eat when I get home: sushi, bagel with lox/cream cheese/red onion, roasted asparagus, strawberries, cheese enchilada meal with rice and refried beans.

10) The new group of volunteers has officially arrived in country. Welcome to the 35 FRE8’s who are just settling into their training villages. One of you will be just down the road from me. I’m sorry I’m not cooler.